Daddy’s Snow
On December 6, 1998 on a quiet morning, a pure, mystical snow fell. It covered the ground in serene, white completeness. As I watched it fall, my spirit was told to pay attention……this was no ordinary snow.
On that unique Sunday morning five years ago, my stepfather and only person I ever called, "Daddy," was dying. My sister and I had brought him to live with us from Pennsylvania after he reached out in peace following many years of estrangement. “Daddy,” had been for those years, a bad legacy of memories filled with profound alcoholism, gambling, mental, and verbal and at times, physical abuses. Sometimes, however, they were good. He gave the best piggyback rides, took us to fun places, and had a wonderful sense of humor; and now he was totally dependent on our help. The reconciliation was miraculous in itself, but the miracle was yet to unfold.
As the unlikely snow fell, a doctor called me from the hospital to say it would be in Daddy’s best interest to discontinue treatment to prolong his life.
I knew it was over too, and authorized the suggested medical assignments for him. I called my sister and we grieved, especially, because we were not comforted by his eternal destiny.
My sister spent the day with Daddy. As the evening wore on, he grew restless and uncommunicative, in and out of lucidness and hallucination. My sister, Lynn, grew more and more distraught. As she prepared to leave for the evening, a nursing assistant had been assigned to him because of his hallucinatory behavior. She was a small, feisty, black woman, named Bunny and could see that Lynn was upset. Lynn poured out Daddy’s story to her. Bunny took Lynn’s hands and prayed for my sister and Daddy. My sister went home with peace.
She was awakened Monday morning at 6am by a call from Bunny. She said in the middle of the night Daddy became lucid and they began talking. She said, “John you need to make peace with God.” and he said, “I know.” She said, “Lynn, I want you to know your father prayed with me and received Jesus.” She went on to say that after their prayer, he fell asleep and then suddenly awoke and in the darkness she heard him saying the Lord’s prayer and there was peace.
The following day, we admitted Daddy to hospice, still in and out of lucidity, he occasionally spoke to us. But the strange thing is as I left him, that night, he asked, “Can I walk on those steps?” What steps?” I asked. “Those,” he said, pointing to the ceiling of his room. “They look like ice, like crystal…they are beautiful.” Those are the last words I remember. From that day until the morning he died on thursday, he only spoke in his native Polish tongue; it was strange.
That Sunday, following his death, there was a guest speaker at church…and he was speaking about grace. He quoted Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson they shall be like wool." And it was then I realized the meaning of the out of the ordinary grace that was falling from the sky that Sunday prior. It was grace falling into Daddy’s life. With that snow came reconciliation, cleanness, utter peace and salvation. It was a Christmas gift to my sister and I beyond measure.
I think about Daddy often, especially at this time of year. I have, however, of late had troubled thoughts and doubts about my miracle those five years ago. Was daddy just delirious? Had Bunny lied? Was it true? I shared my doubts with my sister and confessed I had asked God in my “Heidi way” to reassure me about Daddy by letting it snow that same way again; a pretty frivolous and theologically scandalous request I admit. I told her after I had petitioned Him; I dreamt it snowed on Christmas. But, as we stood in her kitchen Christmas night , rain was the only thing falling from the sky. We drove home and I thanked God anyway for rain on Christmas.
On December 30,2003 at 2:41 am this morning a glow kept awakening me as it crept in through a slit in the drapes. I thought it was the sunrise but it was all wrong since that window faces south. Then I thought in my dozing mind, it looks like a glow from a fire…and then my cat, who is also my personal psyche nurse, began meowing incessantly. I got that feeling I get from the Lord when he says----”Pay attention I have something to say to you.” So I got out of bed to see where the orange glow was coming from. I pulled open the drapes and my backyard was completely blanketed in snow. The trees were bowing from the weight of the whiteness resting on them. It was eerie, mysterious and beautiful at the same time. It was Daddy’s Snow. It was calm, white and quiet. I was overwhelmed by the thought and presence of how good God is. I then remembered how earlier that day I was walking out of the gym and an old man was walking by and said to another man complaining of the cold that it looked like snow. I turned, looked at the old man and he smiled at me.
What peace and calm it was and I was awake and paying attention. I lay on my bed, spoke psalms wept and received the gift that I had asked from Him.
Merry Christmas from the hand of the one I am truly waiting for, the one who fulfills completely. As I write this that snow is melting. My sister said to me this morning how frivolous the love of God is to His children.....she was awakened at 3am by her dog and a glow as well.
I can’t explain this and I must confess that my flesh has tried to quench the gift that came for me in God’s own timing. I can only thank Him and continue to receive his gift of grace, his peace, his calm and to you reading this I want you to know ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD;PAY ATTENTION AND THOUGH IT TARRY, WAIT FOR IT.