What I am going to do on my Summer vacation.
I homeschool my two daughters and today is our last day of school!!!!!!!!!!! Not that learning ever stops in the Stokes household but today I turn the last page of my teacher's manual and put down the textbooks. Before I rose to let the cat out, I lay in bed thinking of all the things I am going,or rather, want to do on my Summer vacation:
Take a creative writing class; get a certification to teach the New York City Ballet Workout; Study Greek and Hebrew theology; Go on vacation to the beach, mountains or camping...... whatever appeals; attend a homeschool convention ; workout like crazy ; read and read and read ( especially to the girls --this suffers in the school year) learn to cook some new recipes; spend more time with friends and family ;sew slip covers........wow i'm exhausted already ...If I do only three of these it will be a great summer.
I have butterflies in my stomach, I am elated to be off the treadmill......
Did I mention the Stokes are going to the ocean next weekend! It is our gift to each other. We are going to make sand castles, eat junk food sleep in a really expensive hotel ( we got a comp) and go antiquing.......yahooooooooooo! ( you can tell I don't get out much)
Friday, May 02, 2003
Thursday, May 01, 2003
One of my favorite poets is W. B. Yeats . He was a true Irishman and bohemian and wrote some of the most imaginative poetry ever (The lake Isle of Innisfree, When you are Old, the Sorrow of Love). He wrote a lot about the wisdom and the fact of growing old and as of late I have been pondering the exchange of youth and all its angst, neuroses, identity confusion, and anger with the wisdom and peace of aging. It seems that all things of value relate to sacrifice . You must let go of the one to receive the necessary other. This is my favorite of Yeats on getting wisdom with time. I find it comforting.
The Coming of Wisdom with Time
Though the leaves are many, the root is one;
Through all the lying days of my youth
I swayed my leaves and flowers in the sun;
Now I may wither into the truth.
The poem says to me that there is one simple source ....one simple truth ...even though there is much superfluity that bombards us in the green years.
In line two the word "lying" can be seen as untruthful or recumbant but I think it means untruthful because of the word "truth" in the fourth line.
So it seems that youth or fruitfulnesss blinds us or distracts us from the 'ROOT" but inevitably we must let go and wither into it.
Lord let me wither gracefully into your truth
The Coming of Wisdom with Time
Though the leaves are many, the root is one;
Through all the lying days of my youth
I swayed my leaves and flowers in the sun;
Now I may wither into the truth.
The poem says to me that there is one simple source ....one simple truth ...even though there is much superfluity that bombards us in the green years.
In line two the word "lying" can be seen as untruthful or recumbant but I think it means untruthful because of the word "truth" in the fourth line.
So it seems that youth or fruitfulnesss blinds us or distracts us from the 'ROOT" but inevitably we must let go and wither into it.
Lord let me wither gracefully into your truth
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
b>Transformation
This past weekend was one of those great 'hours' when I became pleasantly aware of the vivid work of the Holy Spirit. It is so easy to fall into believing that our spiritual journey is like a tedious trip through the desert by car on the way to a mountainlake vacation.....
nothing ...nothing ..more cactus and joshua trees ....road kill ....bugs on the wind shield.... nothing nothing..... someone flips you off for driving in the passing lane.... nothing nothing......ah! pine trees we must be getting close.....flowers.... more trees blocking the sun and then the great gray stones rising out of the earth suddenly narrowing our path and the big expanse of blue still water.......We're here now we can have fun!
We act as if the destination is the important thing ( will we ever get there)....this is not so. It is when we are seeing nothing that I believe that the great teacher, comforter, counselor, giver of truth and above all the transformer is bringing about the miraculous
I spent the weekend with someone from my past. And in the past, this meeting would have been very painful, angry and uneasy for me internally. The external would be polite, accomodating, superficial conversation with all the chaos and confusion of a hurricane interiorly. And then the meeting would be over for the next odd number of years.
But the faithful one in his wonderful sense of Kairos had been silently, patiently, cultivating a metamorphosis over a period of time changing turbulence and masked ammenities to utter peace and compassion towards this person. I did not seek, work for, or desire this metamorphosis..... it just came about, a bloom in a dry valley. As I was thinking on this, I was aware that over the past months before this meeting, there were some signs that my cocoon moment was near. I just had not put it together.
Transformation is the Spirit's great labor in the lives of believers and the heart of the gospel. Our transformation is to be regarded as Holy, mysterious and out of our realm.
However, many Christians like to reduce this transcendent act to a work of man through program and exercise or intentional calculated behaviors. I am not talking about the spiritual disciplines, the Lord himself modeled them for the purpose to be at one with his precious Father, the only true motivation for them. We say, " if I do this, I'll change that thing that is a poor example for Christ." WE decide, or worse, other people said to be our brother or sister in Christ, decide the path that needs to be repented of or taken....we try to force the bud open (read a great poem on this in Ragamuffin Gospel).
How dare we give our beloved sisters and brothers in Christ a pamphlet or a program with a list of questions and activities that will keep them in some pseudo-transformation so that they will appear changed, but in the eyes of God they are a tangled and fruitless vine...... because they seek change, mission and blessings as the end ,not Jesus himself ; they know him not. We continually release these 'workers' into the field only to see them damage the harvest and become bitter and disillusioned about themselves and God.
Three or four years ago the Lord gave a vision to me from Matthew 11:28. He so kindly in his piercing way told me.....you don't know me. This can be a shock to someone who had supposedly been walking with the Lord for many years . But there the words and truth were. I learned from Him deeply and personally through no group, no method, minute by minute what it was to know him ; to recieve and remain in the yoke meant only for me. To leave behind the phantom of belief in a belief and Christian ambitions( beware of these). I retuned to my first love. I learned how to Behold the Lord, to see that precious face and feel the sweetness that only his presence can bring......I learned to Abide. From this low-tech experience came great fecundity that may be more inward than outward. My only desire is Jesus and that I will drink him to the dregs. And perhaps he will ocaisionally use my carcass in HIS battle and purposes.
In closing, I believe that the blossom that bloomed for me this weekend was like the parable of the growing seed in Mark 4:26. It brings out the truth that it is God's responsibilty to transform us in to the new creation. Our resposibility is to drink his blood and eat his flesh and stop seeking our fecundity as the end----this is dishonoring to him, only pleases ourselves and man and will never bring authentic change. We will only continue to keep driving through the desert, numb to its signs and wonders, focused only on why aren't we there yet?
Jesus I thank you for your unfailing love and faithfulnesss. I thank you for the unexpected, effortless harvest you brought me this weekend. May I never assume anything and remain abandoned to you.
This past weekend was one of those great 'hours' when I became pleasantly aware of the vivid work of the Holy Spirit. It is so easy to fall into believing that our spiritual journey is like a tedious trip through the desert by car on the way to a mountainlake vacation.....
nothing ...nothing ..more cactus and joshua trees ....road kill ....bugs on the wind shield.... nothing nothing..... someone flips you off for driving in the passing lane.... nothing nothing......ah! pine trees we must be getting close.....flowers.... more trees blocking the sun and then the great gray stones rising out of the earth suddenly narrowing our path and the big expanse of blue still water.......We're here now we can have fun!
We act as if the destination is the important thing ( will we ever get there)....this is not so. It is when we are seeing nothing that I believe that the great teacher, comforter, counselor, giver of truth and above all the transformer is bringing about the miraculous
I spent the weekend with someone from my past. And in the past, this meeting would have been very painful, angry and uneasy for me internally. The external would be polite, accomodating, superficial conversation with all the chaos and confusion of a hurricane interiorly. And then the meeting would be over for the next odd number of years.
But the faithful one in his wonderful sense of Kairos had been silently, patiently, cultivating a metamorphosis over a period of time changing turbulence and masked ammenities to utter peace and compassion towards this person. I did not seek, work for, or desire this metamorphosis..... it just came about, a bloom in a dry valley. As I was thinking on this, I was aware that over the past months before this meeting, there were some signs that my cocoon moment was near. I just had not put it together.
Transformation is the Spirit's great labor in the lives of believers and the heart of the gospel. Our transformation is to be regarded as Holy, mysterious and out of our realm.
However, many Christians like to reduce this transcendent act to a work of man through program and exercise or intentional calculated behaviors. I am not talking about the spiritual disciplines, the Lord himself modeled them for the purpose to be at one with his precious Father, the only true motivation for them. We say, " if I do this, I'll change that thing that is a poor example for Christ." WE decide, or worse, other people said to be our brother or sister in Christ, decide the path that needs to be repented of or taken....we try to force the bud open (read a great poem on this in Ragamuffin Gospel).
How dare we give our beloved sisters and brothers in Christ a pamphlet or a program with a list of questions and activities that will keep them in some pseudo-transformation so that they will appear changed, but in the eyes of God they are a tangled and fruitless vine...... because they seek change, mission and blessings as the end ,not Jesus himself ; they know him not. We continually release these 'workers' into the field only to see them damage the harvest and become bitter and disillusioned about themselves and God.
Three or four years ago the Lord gave a vision to me from Matthew 11:28. He so kindly in his piercing way told me.....you don't know me. This can be a shock to someone who had supposedly been walking with the Lord for many years . But there the words and truth were. I learned from Him deeply and personally through no group, no method, minute by minute what it was to know him ; to recieve and remain in the yoke meant only for me. To leave behind the phantom of belief in a belief and Christian ambitions( beware of these). I retuned to my first love. I learned how to Behold the Lord, to see that precious face and feel the sweetness that only his presence can bring......I learned to Abide. From this low-tech experience came great fecundity that may be more inward than outward. My only desire is Jesus and that I will drink him to the dregs. And perhaps he will ocaisionally use my carcass in HIS battle and purposes.
In closing, I believe that the blossom that bloomed for me this weekend was like the parable of the growing seed in Mark 4:26. It brings out the truth that it is God's responsibilty to transform us in to the new creation. Our resposibility is to drink his blood and eat his flesh and stop seeking our fecundity as the end----this is dishonoring to him, only pleases ourselves and man and will never bring authentic change. We will only continue to keep driving through the desert, numb to its signs and wonders, focused only on why aren't we there yet?
Jesus I thank you for your unfailing love and faithfulnesss. I thank you for the unexpected, effortless harvest you brought me this weekend. May I never assume anything and remain abandoned to you.
Sunday, April 27, 2003
Amen
I just read Kelly Parker's blog so honestly and eloquently written about the battle of the Palmer family with cancer.
She titled her Blog "Blog Knots" due to her anxiety about remaining in unread -blog- limbo and boring people. If you read it, you will find her cares were for not!
And I say Amen to her thoughts and honesty.
I just read Kelly Parker's blog so honestly and eloquently written about the battle of the Palmer family with cancer.
She titled her Blog "Blog Knots" due to her anxiety about remaining in unread -blog- limbo and boring people. If you read it, you will find her cares were for not!
And I say Amen to her thoughts and honesty.
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