b>Transformation

This past weekend was one of those great 'hours' when I became pleasantly aware of the vivid work of the Holy Spirit. It is so easy to fall into believing that our spiritual journey is like a tedious trip through the desert by car on the way to a mountainlake vacation.....

nothing ...nothing ..more cactus and joshua trees ....road kill ....bugs on the wind shield.... nothing nothing..... someone flips you off for driving in the passing lane.... nothing nothing......ah! pine trees we must be getting close.....flowers.... more trees blocking the sun and then the great gray stones rising out of the earth suddenly narrowing our path and the big expanse of blue still water.......We're here now we can have fun!

We act as if the destination is the important thing ( will we ever get there)....this is not so. It is when we are seeing nothing that I believe that the great teacher, comforter, counselor, giver of truth and above all the transformer is bringing about the miraculous

I spent the weekend with someone from my past. And in the past, this meeting would have been very painful, angry and uneasy for me internally. The external would be polite, accomodating, superficial conversation with all the chaos and confusion of a hurricane interiorly. And then the meeting would be over for the next odd number of years.

But the faithful one in his wonderful sense of Kairos had been silently, patiently, cultivating a metamorphosis over a period of time changing turbulence and masked ammenities to utter peace and compassion towards this person. I did not seek, work for, or desire this metamorphosis..... it just came about, a bloom in a dry valley. As I was thinking on this, I was aware that over the past months before this meeting, there were some signs that my cocoon moment was near. I just had not put it together.
Transformation is the Spirit's great labor in the lives of believers and the heart of the gospel. Our transformation is to be regarded as Holy, mysterious and out of our realm.

However, many Christians like to reduce this transcendent act to a work of man through program and exercise or intentional calculated behaviors. I am not talking about the spiritual disciplines, the Lord himself modeled them for the purpose to be at one with his precious Father, the only true motivation for them. We say, " if I do this, I'll change that thing that is a poor example for Christ." WE decide, or worse, other people said to be our brother or sister in Christ, decide the path that needs to be repented of or taken....we try to force the bud open (read a great poem on this in Ragamuffin Gospel).
How dare we give our beloved sisters and brothers in Christ a pamphlet or a program with a list of questions and activities that will keep them in some pseudo-transformation so that they will appear changed, but in the eyes of God they are a tangled and fruitless vine...... because they seek change, mission and blessings as the end ,not Jesus himself ; they know him not. We continually release these 'workers' into the field only to see them damage the harvest and become bitter and disillusioned about themselves and God.

Three or four years ago the Lord gave a vision to me from Matthew 11:28. He so kindly in his piercing way told me.....you don't know me. This can be a shock to someone who had supposedly been walking with the Lord for many years . But there the words and truth were. I learned from Him deeply and personally through no group, no method, minute by minute what it was to know him ; to recieve and remain in the yoke meant only for me. To leave behind the phantom of belief in a belief and Christian ambitions( beware of these). I retuned to my first love. I learned how to Behold the Lord, to see that precious face and feel the sweetness that only his presence can bring......I learned to Abide. From this low-tech experience came great fecundity that may be more inward than outward. My only desire is Jesus and that I will drink him to the dregs. And perhaps he will ocaisionally use my carcass in HIS battle and purposes.

In closing, I believe that the blossom that bloomed for me this weekend was like the parable of the growing seed in Mark 4:26. It brings out the truth that it is God's responsibilty to transform us in to the new creation. Our resposibility is to drink his blood and eat his flesh and stop seeking our fecundity as the end----this is dishonoring to him, only pleases ourselves and man and will never bring authentic change. We will only continue to keep driving through the desert, numb to its signs and wonders, focused only on why aren't we there yet?

Jesus I thank you for your unfailing love and faithfulnesss. I thank you for the unexpected, effortless harvest you brought me this weekend. May I never assume anything and remain abandoned to you.