Sunday, May 22, 2005

A Hard Week

This week Caitlin was formally diagnosed with Scoliosis. She was fitted for what will be an extremely restrictive and uncomfortable brace which will need to be worn for 23 hours a day.

The fitting process itself was very hard on her modesty and the realization of eighteen months of observation and restriction with no guarantee of preventing a corrective surgery was about all she could take. Many tears have been shed.

The type of curve she has is considered borderline. This means the brace will keep the curve from progressing during her adolescent growth, but may not be enough to prevent her from having to undergo surgery--which her doctor seems to be leaning towards. It is unknown now just how much of a genetic dose she has of scoliosis and the unknown is making our imaginations run wild as we try to grasp for some sense of control over this. I feel like Santiago in Hemmingway’s Old Man and the Sea…the first shark has bitten my perfect prize. But like Santiago, I hope to endure with grace under pressure.

Trying to set aside my need, or rather, my illusion of control, I am attempting to draw on the richest places that have been mined by the trials I’ve passed through. My "mother" prayers go to One who holds it all in his hands despite my symptoms of fear, anger, sadness and lack of faith. I ask him for healing and acceptance of whatever form he chooses to deliver it.

As Caitlin’s community, will you pray for her however you are led? My specific requests are that she will not require surgery; that she will have strength and courage to deal with what seems to be way beyond the scope of a young girl and for her self-image to develop in a healthy and whole way. I also ask that you pray our family grows closer and each of us deepens in the love of our Father during this stressful time.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

Heidi,
Caitlin is one of the strongest and most wonderful young ladies I have ever encountered. I have no doubt that she will pull through all of this with amazing grace. My prayers are with your family that God will strengthen Caitlin and that this will be as painless as possible for your whole family. I love you guys!
Meghann

Unknown said...
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Cheryl said...

Sick/unhealthy kids are so stressful. It is at those times when you most wish for control and are confronted by your lack of power. Compound that stress with fear of the unknown about the outcomes and you've got a potential spiritual battleground. Our prayers are for the strength of your family and the physical health of Caitlin. We love you all so much. We are here to spare Bronwyn time at doctor visits, prayer time, crying time and celebration time. You are not alone in this fight.

Amy said...

Heidi,

We are praying for God to receive glory and praise through your family as you deal with this issue. Whatever the outcome, those outside of Jesus will see how you prosper in the joy and strength of our Lord. We are also petitioning God to spare Caitlin further discomfort.

Love and miss you all,

Dave, Amy, and The Rest

Tera said...

heidi, my heart goes out to you as a mother. know that our family will be praying for your entire family, but especially for browyn's spirit. please send our love to the whole family. wishing we could be there to do more!
tera & the rest of the harshmans

Anonymous said...

Well that just totally SUCKS!
My heart and prayers to you and your family. We love you and are here for you in every way.

God is standing right beside you.

Sherry

Anonymous said...

Heidi, Gregg, Caitlin and Bronwyn... please know that we are praying for you here. My faith tells my heart that you will look back on this one day and say "wow, God truly was at work in our family during that time." I realize it is a stressful time for each of you, but the Father loves you too much to put in a place He doesn't know you will perservere, grow in His love and in a place where His love would ever fail you. Lean on Him, and He is the ONE in control, let the Father take this burden from you and find peace in His holy presence. Amen to each of you. Love, Tari and family

MrH said...

Heidi,
Simply posting this took strength. We are happy to be a part of the family who loves the heck out of you guys. Caitlyn is an extraordinary young woman who will triumph in spirit no matter the outcome. We love her and support you all. Romans 8:18 says: I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Caitlyn is a beautiful creation of the Almighty and we are called not to be slaves to fear, we are called to share in sufferings so we can experience the glory. Our prayer is that the suffering is short and the glory extended. If you need anything? Do not hesitate to ask!
Love, Michelle and Adam and our children that adore both of your children.