Updates

Long time no blog. I have a moment to spare and some random thoughts.

I am uneasy with the flow of life at present. I feel there is a great deal of activity and little purpose. I keep thinking of the biblical question, "Why do you spend money on what is not bread?" I am really questioning my appetite.

We do put a great deal of energy into our perceived goals, but I wonder if in the end they will really count for what really counts in life. I ask myself is this worth it? I suppose that answer will come in time.

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We have a Cooper's hawk preying at our bird feeder. Last week it got a dove. All but a foot was left of the poor thing. After its meal, the hawk sat on the birdbath with its crop engorged until it emptied its bowels and flew away. I stared at it with binoculars and was awed at how beautiful it was. My initial response was to stop feeding the doves and sparrows, but I know I won't.

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There is a mom at my daughter's ballet school who is unbearable. She is the stage mother from hell. Unfortunately, Bronwyn was affected by her jealousy recently. It is sort of like the Cooper's hawk situation....but the mother is not beautiful.

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There also is another mom who is a backstabber. I got to experience her blade and again Bronwyn was affected.

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I got my clinical assignment recently. I will be working in the newborn and level II nursery. I am really looking forward to it. Postpartum floors are happy places. When I was in chemo, I craved holding a newborn baby all the time to help with the nausea and despair. Now I will get that opportunity. They smell so wonderful.

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I feel very far from God. I think it is all the activity.

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I don't like facebook. I log in more than once a day.

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That's all